walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
