How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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