No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
