yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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