First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
