dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
