Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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