is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
