These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
