You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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