I only kidnapped one of them. chill
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
