Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
