there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
