My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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