good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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