how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
