so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
