I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
