just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
