She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
