the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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