I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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