i don't like sucking hair
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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