Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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