Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
