hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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