time to smoke my breakfast
this just has baby written all over it
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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