being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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