love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
