Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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