I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize
