Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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