We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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