i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
