the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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