I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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