Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
