the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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