OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
