his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize
