She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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