Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize