in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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