your parents love me but you hate me
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
