He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
