i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
