why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
