think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
