im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
