Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
