I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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